Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize