I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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