Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize