I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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