I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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