The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize