You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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