my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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