If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize