I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
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I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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