I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize