Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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