So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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