I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
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Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize