Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
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if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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