1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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