from now on my penis is your penis
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize