the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize