Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize