If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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