Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize