I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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