it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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