I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All I want is dick and wine.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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