So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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