I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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