do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize