In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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