he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize