i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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