I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize