dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Are my feet made of real feet?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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