I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Come see our sink grown plant.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize