Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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