Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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