if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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