so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
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I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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