so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize