it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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