I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
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Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
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Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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