come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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