Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
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Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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