I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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