So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Someone stole a lamp last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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