Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize