between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize