But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize