so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
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I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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