Tell her she can't have a vagina
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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