3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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