I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize