do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize