Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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